Being an Advocate

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

So I know that quote sets this post up to be something that's huge and totally poignant for like ALL OF LIFE. But, in some ways it is absolutely not that. But, in some ways, it is absolutely that. It's something that happened - that changed within me and because it did, things got better for me and ultimately for Cillian. And that's what mattered most. So ... here's the story.

 

For a couple of months now Cillian has been in both physical therapy and speech therapy. Our physical therapist is great - we love Leida. However, I haven't liked our speech therapist from the beginning. What threw me may seem unimportant to you but it was to me - it didn't sit well with me. She spoke in a sing-songing valley girl way, said things in a regular voice to me but in a high pitched baby voice to Cillian and worst of all, said: "anyways." It's not a word. And for a 'professional' speech therapist to use it over and over and over again was just incredibly annoying to me. Also, Cillian didn't mesh with her. I didn't either. And it took me looking at my parents and brother's faces listening to James making fun of her for me to realize we were just hurting ourselves by staying with her. Nothing was coming from this. She would give me handouts and books to read but we did nothing for Cillian. She actually told me to hold the pages of the books I read down so he couldn't turn the pages until I was finished reading. He's one. She wanted to sit him in front of the ipad so watch a farm video to teach him animal words. He's one. I mean. It was just an unending series of the most unprofessional situations ever.

 

So, I emailed one of our neighbors I met through our book club - she two kids - an older child with special needs and a younger son who is a regular kid with regular needs. Her 15 year old daughter is high functioning special needs, speaks really well and I wanted a recommendation from her for speech therapists. The Mom emailed me back immediately with three and I took her word for the best one who they had to change because of the daughter's schedule when she started high school.

 

I called the new therapist and she offered to meet me today - New Year's Eve. After talking with her and meeting with her today, um, we're in a whole new ballgame people. As soon as I got home, I wrote an email to our former speech therapist and fired her. I made it cushiony and fluffy and nice and said we were changing because the new therapist was half the cost and only 15 minutes from our home. These things were true but there was a lot more I could have said but didn't - there was no point to be rude - I just wanted a clean break - a new start. And what better timing.   

 

I have never in my life been so excited about speech therapy. We are thrilled to have Cillian in MB's hands and we are ready to move forward. It never occurred to me that I could switch therapists - that I could take charge of Cillian's care. But then when it did, everything changed. It was on this day that I decided we were changing physicians as well. The kids were going to get a new pediatrician. I was tired of driving into the city and waiting over an hour to be seen for 10 minutes. It finally dawned on me that I have two really special one in a million kids - I have a child who is four and is starting to read, can sing complete songs, can do simple addition and subtraction, who plays hockey and loves with all his heart and soul and I have another child who is one and who cannot walk or talk or eat on his own but you know what? He tries with all his might, he is braver than any other person I know and he has taught me, Doug and James what it means to be a true family, to really lift each other up and be strong for each other and to support one another and to believe in one another. I have two boys and I want to nurture both to the best of my ability.

 

This is the new me. The empowered Mom. I can do this.