Bo

So this post is a long time coming. I have wanted to do a post about Bo because he is just such an integral part of James' life and all our lives really. I know that sounds over the top when describing a stuffed animal, but he just isn't a stuffed animal - it's Bo.

When I was pregnant with James, Doug and I didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl and we thought it would be fun to go with a slight oceanic theme - not like a huge theme where it's an ocean themed bedding, wall decor, room accessories - just like a few pieces of art and some stuffed animals.

Doug spent many nights scouting out oceanic stuffed animals and one day a huge box came to our home filled with every kind of ocean-related animal - from crabs to fish to penguins to polar bears. Two polar bears came actually - a tiny and a large version of the same stuffed animal. We didn't think anything of it at the time and just arranged them all in baskets in the room.

Fast forward to James being an almost walking almost talking little man and one day we were playing with all the stuffed animals and he picked up the bigger of the stuffed polar bears. And he didn't drop it. Didn't even make it back into the basket at clean-up. At the time, Doug and I noticed how quickly James grew attached to this little bear. He even started making it into the crib with James and Tiny and his two blankets. This bear had made his way into the inner circle of James :)

Sometime over this past summer, we asked James what the Bear's name was. We had just been calling him Bear. Thinking he was just going to say Bear again, I was shocked but so warmed by the fact that James named him. James thoughtfully said, "Bo."

Now, I cannot imagine life without Bo. Everyday, I pull him out of James' crib or pick him off the floor or find him before nap or bedtime so James can snuggle with him as he falls asleep. When I look at Bo and see his eyes that are getting scratched up, his stitching around his mouth that's fading, the stuffing that seems to have been hugged and snuggled away, or his matted fur, I cannot help but to think of The Velveteen Rabbit.

When I taught Personality Psychology, I used to have my students read this book. It may seem to be an innocent children's book but it is so much more. It has such beautiful lessons in it - we cannot learn to love others until we love ourselves and we cannot love until we are loved. The story of the rabbit who becomes real because the little boy loved him so.  It has such resonance doesn't it? It's such a simple and yet profound thing - love. And yet, I watch my son do it so effortlessly. The love James has for Bo is so unconditional and pure of heart and spirit - it's so innocent.

As I was rocking James before nap today, I looked over at Bo. Bo was wrapped in James' arms, pressed against James' head and I swear I saw that bear smiling.

"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."