My Birthday

Today was my birthday. Another one for the books. It was very much a day in the life kind of day today except that Doug took off work. He didn't take off just because it was my birthday though - he did it because today we toured the special ed classrooms for our public school district. I had talked to the early childhood director on the phone a week ago and we scheduled this visit. We dropped James off at school and then we met with her at one of our local schools - it has both a half day class for kids that have special needs and kids that are "normally developing" - this was the term they used. Then there is also a full day class for just special needs kids that need a bit more help communicating or mastering everyday tasks and there is a one-to-one ratio kid to teacher.

So if I'm going to be honest here, I will be. I got in the car afterwards and cried. Doug was as shocked as me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with the school - nothing wrong with the classrooms - but it just didn't come close to what we have at our Montessori. Also, they don't encourage sign language but encourage picture exchange system, they wouldn't be able to accommodate our private therapy schedule with school and since Cillian would probably be in the full day (because of communication issues) he'd have no nap. My biggest issue is the no sign language - I mean this is how we're getting Cillian to talk/communicate. I understand the utility of the picture pointing etc but eventually I would like Cillian to be able to come home from school and tell me/sign to me about his day instead of pointing at a series of photographs. And I'm not at all prepared to give up our therapists. No way Jose.

Cillian currently is in class there with 4 other kids and there's two teachers and he does wonderfully. Just a few weeks ago, I had a meeting with his teacher and the learning specialist and they both told me that they want Cillian back and think he'd do great in the next class level next year. They couldn't believe his progress and think that with a few things on my end getting coordinated, he'll have a fantastic year. They also told me that they've learned a few signs from us which has been helpful and since it's only three days a week instead of everyday, we can keep our private therapy going.

When I left the meeting with the Montessori I was overwhelmed a bit about having to coordinating therapies-school communications and updates, preparing appropriate snacks each day, keeping notes up on activities, exercises, etc but after our meeting today, I told Doug, I feel like a fool. I can totally do this. I got this. I will do this for Cillian. It's not like I can't do it it's just super intimidating to take this on sometimes. It's a steep learning curve a lot of the time but when you've seen reality, it's like a slap in the face. Like in Moonstruck.

It's like you don't realize the gift you have until it's too late. But for us, thankfully, it's not too late at all. Certainly today was a wake-up call and I think we're feeling more confident in our decision that Cillian will stay put at Montessori with James for another year.

After the school visit, we went out for cookies and coffee and then picked up flowers for James. I dropped Doug and Cillian home to go out and play because he had been such a good kid during the tour and meetings that followed. I had signed up to bring flowers to James' classroom and had forgotten this morning. I drove to the Montessori, walked in and saw James in the hallway getting ready for lunch. I said, "Hey Handsome." He looked up and smiled and ran over to me and hugged me. He was so surprised. I had told him I would bring the flowers after school. He was so proud to bring the flowers in - I brought three bouquets of tulips in bright colors for the classroom. They are one of his favorite flowers. My Ferdinand.

Then after I picked him up from school, we came home and opened presents - boys bought me my first Lego set :) And Doug got me some very special editions of books I love. Then after dinner, I went to my sign language class, then I came home and crashed. Big birthday, big decisions, big love, big heart, happy heart. Thank you my loves for the most wonderful birthday.