Happy 3 Months Cillian!!! I have been writing blog posts in my head and then giving myself a hard time for not writing them out and posting them. And then, time passes, I write more (in my head), more things happen and then before I know it, my little son is 3 months old. Honestly, I just can't believe it. I really, really can't.
Cillian coos all the time. I should say when he's calm. Otherwise ... well, you know :) But, I do have to say, that his calm times are extending. He is crying less. Which is so fantastic I cannot even adequately describe it. I've heard that fussy babies usually are like regular babies around 4 months. This would be Thanksgiving. But, to quote one of the Mom's at James' school - "Circle Christmas on your calendar instead of Thanksgiving - this way you won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. Give yourself some cushion."
On October 9th, we had a follow-up with Dr. Z the eye specialist. At this appointment, Cillian was officially given the diagnosis of ptosis (toe-sis). What this is essentially is droopy eyelids. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being worst), Dr. Z says Cillian is a 10. What causes this is a lack of eyelid development. His little eyelids didn't develop all the way. Now, when he was born, there was meconium in the amniotic fluid but he did not have meconium aspiration (thank God). He was checked out by a team of pediatricians immediately after he was born. It just occurred to me that I never posted that. Anyway, my point is that I feel like it was the left hand of God at work for Cillian to be born when he was - even though his lids aren't fully developed, he was spared meconium aspiration and for that I am so grateful. Okay, so what does this mean? Well, when he's around the age of 4, he'll have eye surgery. I know I was so hopeful about no more surgeries. It'll be okay though, Dr. Z used to be the head of the children's hospital and she is the best ped eye surgeon in Chicago.
Cillian is not expected to open his eye lids all the way on his own. I asked if there were any exercises I could do with him to help him but so far, no is always the answer I get. I do them anyway though. I lift his eye open by raising his eyelids for him and raising his forehead up. His head jerks back and he just scans all over the place. That's the great thing though - his vision, his pupils, his tracking - all the things Dr. Z can't fix are just fine. So again, I am so thankful. The surgery will essentially connect his forehead muscles to the undeveloped ones so that he'll be able to fully see.
Set backs from his ptosis are mostly in terms of motor development. He cannot hold his head up very steadily yet. He wobbles a lot. But, we're not letting this be an excuse! I hold him up as much as I can and we do tummy time each and every day. To see things, Cillian will tilt his head back and lean back. This impacts his ability to have control with his head upright. He keeps lurching back to see more effectively. Also, he still burrows his head into my neck or my shoulder and snuggles in. I love when he does this. But, I suppose I should be doing more to encourage him to hold his head upright. I was looking back at James at 3 months and these two are in such different places developmentally. But, it's okay. Everything will work itself out. On a positive note, they do favor each other a little bit I think.
On October 19th, we had Cillian's post-op appointment following his hernia surgery. Here's my champ getting ready to be seen.
At this appointment he weighed 10 lbs 4.9 ounces. Just for comparison, James almost weighed 15 lbs at 3 months. The doctor said that everything healed beautifully and the steri-strips were taken off. She showed me how to massage it so the scar will be minimal. There's a little ridge of tissue that's hard underneath it but that should go away with the massaging. On this day we also had another wonderful experience - our family came in town from New York, Washington D.C., Los Angeles, and Tacoma for Cillian's Christening! There's a separate post about this because we have so many great photos and stories from the weekend! It's the one before this one - I don't know if people just read the newest post of it you go back - sometimes I squeeze in more than one post at a time - so don't be afraid to keep scrolling down :)
Cillian LOVES his snuggle bear. It's a little lovie and Cillian LOVES to snuggle with it and hold on to it. It's really cute.
Cillian is in 0-3 month clothes now and looks so grown-up in his little outfits :) He still feels like a piece of cotton when I pick him up. He is still so little in my arms. He still wakes up in the middle of the night - although it's more like "dark morning" around 4am. I still love it. I mean I am exhausted but it's really the only time when it's just me and him and the house is quiet. I hold him and kiss him and we 'chat' about things. I love him so. He averages about 4 ounces each feeding. Last night however, he took down his first 6 ounce bottle. He spit up all over the place afterwards but at least the want was there so that's great. I guess I should put in here that I'm finished pumping. It was one week shy of three months. I just couldn't do it anymore. I overheard James telling his stuffed animals that he couldn't play right now because he had to pump. That broke my heart. So, here are the positives of the situation: Cillian has frozen milk to last until he's almost 6 months. I now have time to play with James when Cillian is asleep. I now have time to shower, eat, clean-up when both boys are alseep. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I can have this.
Now back to Cillian. We have had smiles and we have had a laugh. Not a belly laugh or anything but a little tiny sigh-laugh. It was beautiful to hear. The smiles are not as plentiful as they were with James but I'm thinking as the calm periods get longer, the smiles may increase. A nice thing about the stretches of calm getting longer is that I can do things with Cillian now that I used to do with James. Today we read together. I always used to read to James after a feeding or just if he was up and not hungry and we did our tummy time, etc. Today we read "No Such Things" by Bill Peet. It was one of my favorites when I was a child. He was so still when I read to him. I held the book down a bit so he could see without straining himself. Of course he had his bear with him. It was my favorite activity of the day with Cillian.
Another cute thing that Cillian does is he looks for kisses. He has been doing this since he was little - like a few weeks old. He'll turn one cheek to face you and while you're kissing him, he'll turn his head to the other side. And then back. And then back again. Now when he does it, he'll coo during the cheek change. Liddy has seen this, so has Aunt Col and of course Daddy and James. It's so adorable I can't even adequately describe it. Cillian and his earnest and pure desire for snuggles and loves. I love him so.
I took these photos this morning. I was going to just take a few of Cillian but James climbed right on the couch and asked to hold him. There was no way I was going to say no. These amazing and cute photos are just some of the ones that I was able to capture this morning. I love my boys so much.
Our next appointments are with Dr.Z and Dr. Hirsh on the day before Thanksgiving - another follow-up to assess the ptosis and his 4 month appointment. I still cannot believe I have a 3.5 year old and a 3 month old. Blessings abound in our home. Love you all and miss you all! Happy 3 months my little darling Cillian.
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